Unfitted

I always wonder if I was born in the wrong family. I never belonged. I never fitted in. Sometimes I feel like I wanna shut the world out and just live in my own world. I'm tired of all the talking, all the yelling. It just makes me go crazy. Living in a house where no one understands me and I don't myself either. Sometimes I wish I can escape from all my problems and live the life I want, a better life. But I know I can't run away. I have to face my problems. I'm too scared to. Everyday I wake up, I'm being reminded of my mistakes and failures. My flaws stick on my skin. And while I am constantly being reminded by others, I feel ashamed, guilty, and unworthy. Too much to move on. I wanna push myself so bad, and I wish it was easy, but it's not. It's never going to be easy. And that's the hard part. I used to be haunted by my past. Now I'm haunted by my future. I keep running away from my fears. I'm holding myself back. I'm tired of running.