The thing is that, my family cares about my well-being, but they don't care to get to know who I am or be interested in what I like to do. I think that's the saddest part. They don't know me at all. The funny thing is that my parents are so nice to everyone except me. They look at me like disgust, a scum, a dirty bubblegum under a metal stand.
Ok so, I know I may not get everything right, but I know I will when the right time comes. It's just so f*ckin' annoying how my family ALWAYS talks about my flaws. It's all they ever talk about me. It's like when they have nothing to talk about, they complain about me. I guess it's true that I sometimes don't show my "good" side to them so that's why they can never "see" it. They think I'm not scared. Are you kiddin' me? Everyday I wake up, I am reminded of the failure that I am. I am always scared, and I have to face that. I'm just tired of hearing everything. They will never see my good side, no matter how hard I try. Yes, I know I'm a failure, and I know I have to prove myself to be the better part of me. The thing is that they want me to be the same like everyone else. I CAN'T BE THAT. I just can't. I can only be myself.
Just saying, comparing me to someone else is not gonna make anything better. It's like comparing a poor person to a mega rich person and ridiculing the poor person that they can't make enough money to survive. And you say "Wow, look at all the 'success' this person has accomplished in their life. Why don't you do the same?" That's just annoying. Everyone has different ways of surviving and coping with their situations. Some may get it faster. Some may have to take their time to get there. Not everyone has the same happiness, gosh.
Sometimes I just wanna run away, shut myself from the world, and just live in my own world. A place where I can escape to from all this mess. But I know I have to do what I feel is right. No matter what others tell me. I'm following my intuition.